somebody, anybody, somebody to?, pointless.

and the lights go down. it's raining. of course. i can't exactly have rain here, it's really not possible. and the scene - it has things in it. things you can't see because the lights are down. the stage lights for this play. that is happening, right now. did i mention? this is the play. i am the play. the one you are enjoying. or not.

[pause.]

you are enjoying, right? or are you judging? you give me chills. good and bad. i don't even want the lights to come up. i don't want you to see me. ok. just once.

[the lights come up on a cardboard cut out of an attractive man]

i'm just kidding. that's a test, right? a test for you. to see if you'd enjoy that. did you? -don't answer! i'll wait until the end to see if you clap.

[very long pause. he starts clapping, hopefully others join in.]

no. this is not the end. there was a fly. i'm sorry. you're disappointed aren't you. i am. some of you are really stupid. those of you who clapped. everyone who clapped. retarded even. why are you here? how can you even stand this? i- am sorry. am i alienating? does it help to talk about what i've just done after i've just done it - like now?

[the lights come up on someone standing opposite the cutout, it doesn't matter who]

that's not me either. i'm running out of space. to be completely honest, i don't know this person, but he is being paid very well to stand there and not say anything. shut up! stupid! stupid! stupid! shut up! stupid!

[the person starts to walk offstage]

no. you fucking stay there. because i said so. or someone will punish you. you won't get money to pay your rent or debt, or i'll come over and tell you what to watch on your tv or force you to eat the food i like and listen to the music i prefer - it's more a reward, shit, than a punishment. you should be grateful to have me run your life. now they stay there and be not me.

[the person stands]

god my right ear hurts. -oh i can hear fine - my ear just hurts. does yours ever? of course it does. mine does. i want to rip it off. GOD.

[the sound of paper being torn]

right now the sound of paper ripping should happen. this symbolizes my ear being torn off, or rather, an unwillingness to read, or listen to what is directly in front of you. but you can really come up with your own symbolism if you want. it'll be wrong, but feel free. i'll wait.

[the sound of paper being torn, the same sound played 5 times]

wrong. you know, even - i'm going to the bathroom.

[there is a pause for enough time for the performer to leave, go to the bathroom, wash his hands and come back - the stage remains dark, apart from the person on stage waiting for the play to be over and the cutout]

here is a video i made.

[the video is the current play from the beginning]

and the lights go down

[the lights go down]

it's raining. of course. i can't exactly have rain here, it's really not possible. and the scene - it has things in it. things you can't see because the lights are down. the stage lights for this play. that is happening, right now. did i mention? this is the play. i am the play. the one you are enjoying. or not.

[pause.]

you are enjoying, right? or are you judging? you give me chills. good and bad. i don't even want the lights to come up. i don't want you to see me. ok. just once.

[the lights on the stage come up, it is completely empty, the end.]