Presetting the Stage, a love story.

Two people, dressed in blacks set the stage for Romeo and Juliet. There is a fountain, a couple walls and a door. When any of those set pieces speak, the light gets brighter on it, but dimmer on the others. The two people sweep briefly and then leave.

Fountain : Door. Front door. I'm gushing with love. I have so much love flowing in and out and in and out and in and out of me. Like a bleeding Vietnam soldier hit by shrapnel.

Door : Fountain, I'm sorry. We can never be together. We're too different. We're too far apart. I can never get close to you. I'm destined to only swing a few feet closer to you for eternity. Or until Bye-Bye Birdie, when I, too, will become another wall and will be dismantled.

Fountain : But you haven't denied that you love me. Do you love me?

Door : I do.

Fountain : Oh good.

Door : I don't want to live with-

Stage Left Wall : Shut up.

Door : out you.

Stage Left Wall : Shut up.

Fountain : Stage left wall, please. Can't you see we're in love.

Stage Left Wall : Shut up.

Stage Right Wall : Maaaaaarrriiiiiieeeeeeed.

Fountain : Married? Door, did you hear that? We should get married. Despite our distance, let's get married!

Stage Right Wall : Hoooooornblooooooweeeeerrrrrrr.

Fountain : I love you, door.

There is no answer.

Fountain : Door?

There is no answer.

Fountain : Door!?

There is no answer.

Stage Left Wall : Shut up.

Fountain : Oh, dear. Door. Why? How? Oh god.

The fountain ceases to spray water.

Door : Ha-ha! Just kidding!

There is a pause.

Door : Fountain?

There is a pause.

Door : Fountain?

There is a pause.

Door : Fountain!? Oh god. No.

Door falls off it's hinge and screams.

Stage Left Wall : Shut up.

Stage Right Wall : Diiiiiiscooooouuuunt Shooooooeeeees.