Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah, right? Yeah.

A bar full of people. The audience sits behind the bar and can see the 20-something year old bartender working. There are no seats available. The bartender walks back and forth serving drinks. A man in his late 40's walks up, but doesn't sit down. There are no seats available.

Bartender : What can I get you?
Man : Oh nothing.. yet.

The Bartender moves on to other people. Serving drinks. Someone at end of the bar puts money down and walks out. The Man runs to the stool and sits down. The bartender is tending to someone across the room.

Man : I'd like a drink now.

The Bartender finishes with his customer and walks over.

Bartender : What can I get you?
Man : Scotch.
Bartender : What kind?
Man : Whatever's on your top shelf.
Bartender : Sure.

The Bartender runs over and grabs a glass, reaches for the scotch and begins to pour.

Man : I went golfing today with this guy who worked for the airforce.
Bartender : I'm sorry, what?
Man : My buddy, he used to be in the Air Force. He was a pilot. He still is a pilot, now, with American Airlines. He says they're going bankrupt between the low ticket prices, the high gas prices, the lawsuits, the unions, the fear of terrorism.
Bartender : Oh yeah?

The Bartender gives him the drink.

Man : I'll start a tab.

The Bartender writes a note on a coaster and puts it in front of the Man. He walks to another customer, but stays on the Man's half of the bar. He cleans glasses, and fiddles with coasters. After about five seconds, the man speaks again.

Man : They did a study a while back that said people who fly for the airforce are more likely to crash planes when they fly commercial planes. It said that they weren't used to working as a team, so they were less likely to follow instructions from their copilots or something. I don't believe it, my buddy saved lives in the Air Force. He won't put anybody in danger.

There is a pause.

Man : ...I had a hellish day at work. You know? My boss just wouldn't let up on me. She's a real slave-driver you know? Not because I'm black or anything, because I'm not. I'm white. I think my great-great-great grandmother once slept with a South African, but I think he was white too. And they didn't have a baby. No. My boss is a real bitch. You know, a woman in a high position who is also real proud. If there's anything I can't stand it's a woman who feels like she needs to be proud just because she's in charge. It's not that I hate women being in charge, it's just that with a man, you don't get that pride that turns you into a dick. There are some men who are dicks, but it's not because they're proud. It's because their dad touched them or they got their heart broken or whatever.
Bartender : Yeah?
Man : But my boss just keeps asking for it from me. She keeps sending all my reports back to me saying, this isn't good enough, or it's too sloppy. I'll tell you something, I've been doing the same work for the last twenty years and now this woman expects to just walk into my office and tell me I've been wrong for the past twenty years?

The Bartender pauses, nods, and moves completely across the bar to help other people. The Man starts to begin his next statement, but stops shorts and waits for the bartender to return. The bartender takes about 20 seconds to return. Once the Bartender enters the Man's vocal range. The Man starts again.

Man : I had this great roast pork the other night. It was really succulent and juicy. There was a side of mashed potatoes. I think I was at Applebee's. I'd like to have that some day.
Bartender : Huh... Would you like another?
Man : Sure.
The Bartender refills the man's drink.
Man : I take the bus sometimes, and the other day I was standing there, waiting. This guy comes up to me and he smelled of body odor, you know? He could've been homeless or one of those hippies around here who thinks not wearing deodorant is freeing. I'm not like that. Form and function is what I think about the world. As long as there's some kind of structure and culture, I'm ok. Civilized world is what I'm talking about. Hey, if the whole world decided to stop wearing deodorant, I'd throw my stick in the trash, but until then, I don't want anything to do with these stinky petes.
Bartender : Yeah.
The Bartender hands the drink to the man, writes another note down on the Man's tab and stays in that half, serving people. The Man leans forward and up slightly, to not lose the Bartender's attention.
Man : So this guy starts talking to me about the war and taxes and how everything is related to gas prices and how I should join his socialist group meeting tomorrow. You know what I said? I said, "Heck no, man. I'm not joining your group of commies." You know? There's no room here for those kinds of people. This is America.
Bartender : This is definitely America.
Man : Get a hairc-

The Bartender walks across the bar. Another man, of a similar age begins talking the Bartender in the exact opposite seat the to the Man. The Bartender nods, smiles and cross back over.

Man : Blah blah, blah blah blah, right?
Bartender : ..Yeah.
Man : Hey. I've got a stock tip for you. I heard that -
Other Man : Hey buddy. I've got a stock tip for you!
Man : No. I've got a stock tip.
Other Man : Mine is better!

The Bartender stands in the middle of the bar, unsure where to go. The Man and the Other Man fight. The Man wins and pees on the Other Man. He returns to his seat.

Man : So I heard the Dow is going to go way up real soon.
Bartender : Huh.

The Bartender stops, stares at the man and waits.

Man : Yeah, it's going way up. I heard there was going to be a boom in...

Not used to the Bartender actually listening, he trails off and finishes his drink.