This play is not about you.

WOMAN
This play is not about you.

MAN
It isn't? Are you sure?

WOMAN
This play is definitely not about you.

MAN
But isn't this play about me, just a little? I am standing on stage.

WOMAN
Nope. Definitely not.

Pause.

MAN
But I mean- I'm here on this stage in front of this audience and we're performing, so on some level, no matter how remote, wouldn't you say this play is about me?

WOMAN
See, you'd think that, but you'd be wrong. Because this play is not about you.

MAN
But we're talking about me right now, so even...

WOMAN
No. This isn't the play that isn't about you. Right now, we're just on stage talking about the play that isn't about you. So really, this play, that's happening right now, is the play about the play that is not about you.

MAN
Oh. Huh.

WOMAN
Buck up, lad. It took until the 1970s for someone to write a musical about Jesus, and he walked on water and rose from the dead and turned water into wine. Can you do those things?

MAN
Well....no, but I mean, I don't need large scale musical numbers or anything...

WOMAN
You know, Jesus never asked for a play- maybe you should take a more Zen approach to this.

MAN
Oh, so pretend like I don't care.

WOMAN
Yes, apathy usually solves problems. Look how well it worked for Jesus.

MAN
Okay, I'll try.

(Man walks off stage.)

WOMAN
This play is not about him. This play is not about you. This is not the play that is not about him...or you.