Man On Toilet, Robber In House

A man on a toilet, reading a magazine. He hears a noise outside. It is a person in all black clothing holding a lamp.

Man : Hello? Hello? Is someone out there? Jim? Are you borrowing some sugar? That's fine. I wish you'd called first, but go ahead. Jim?

The Robber has stopped in her tracks. She stands. Unsure what to do next.

Robber : It's not Jim.

Man : Oh. Mrs... Jim? Jim's wife? We haven't met yet. I'm Roger. You can call me Rodge -

Robber : I'm don't know who Jim is, but I'm not his wife either.

Man : Oh. Then who are you?

Robber : I'm... Karen.

Man : Karen?

Robber : Yes.

Man : Are you sure?

A pause.

Robber : Karen. Yes. I'm sure.

Man : Are you new? Did Jim let you in? Well anything you need, please help yourself. I trust you.

Robber : Roger.

Man : Rodge.

Robber : Rogde. Do you have your phone in there with you?

Man : No. It's on the counter if you need it. Just make sure it's plugged in when you're done.

Robber : Ok. Sure.

She begins moving items from his living room to outside his window.

Man : You know. It's so strange. You live in one place for a long time. You never meet your neighbors. I mean. I've lived here, what, three years and am just now starting to get to know Jim. I don't even know his wife's name. Does he even have a wife? You don't know, that's right you haven't met him yet. Well I know he's a good guy. He works in marketing or pr or something. Make a pretty good living, I think. He could smoothtalk a bed of nails into being comfortable, I tell you. Oh. I'm sorry. I'm in the bathroom right now. You may have figured it out, as most the apartments here look the same, I imagine. That's the way they build these complexes, I guess. But please, excuse me if I'm being rude by not coming out and really greating you. I had some bad mexican food this afternoon and am afraid to leave this room. What do I need that's out there, though, really? I've got all I could want right here. A magazine, my thoughts, and now I've got you to talk to Karen.

She is gone. The apartment is empty.

Man : Karen?