With Coffee As My Inspiration

A marathon race. There are 10 people in short running shorts, mesh tank tops, and head bands. There is an eleventh man standing in holed and stained sweats.

Man : Everyone. Everyone. With coffee as my inspiration, I've decided to join you. Together we will run to fight for our cause. Together, with this jolt of energy we'll run as fast as we can to defeat -

He looks around.

Man : Breast cancer. I don't like breast cancer, and I don't want it. Together, let's fight. This morning. I'll tell you. This morning I woke up, as you all did, and I made a pot of coffee. And while that brewed I went to Dunkin Donuts to try out their new Ultra Coffee/Espresso mix. I enjoyed it, and felt alivened and awake. I went back home and drank my pot of coffee. After petting the fur off of my cat's neck, I decided to turn the TV on. The TV said that it was time to run to fight breast cancer. Though I didn't know that we were fighting breast cancer until I said "Together, with this jolt of energy we'll run as fast as we can to defeat -" I paused. "Breast cancer." I still feel very strongly about this subject, as my mother has breasts and my uncle had cancer.

The people in the marathon take starting positions.

Man : And now, with this new found love of life and noncancer - we'll run run run. Like a crayon on a hot plate, I will run so fast my the rubber souls of my shoes will melt. And don't we all have a rubber soul? What if, in fact, we all have concrete souls. Immobile, yet resistant to the daily wear and tear of weather and pain. Everything is resistant, depending on how to look at it.

There is a gun shot. Everyone runs off. He continues, but keep yelling to them as if they can hear him.

Man : My blankets resist my legs when I run in my sleep. And this morning I woke up after a dream about playing soccer. I also remember that my attractive friends decided that it was time in our lives to always be nude. I was aroused. I'm aroused now, emotionally. I want to run.

He runs off.