A Jaunt Into Therapy

Patient : -and so I’ve felt like I’ve had this feeling false confidence or overconfidence lately. I mean. Maybe not just lately, but even as a child. I used to turn to my friend steve and say, “Steve. I think every girl in the class except one or two has a crush on.” I would say it very nonchalantly. Naively. And then Steve would repeat what I’d said very loudly. Loud enough for people to hear and look. Even the Indian girl in the class. I don’t know if she liked me, but she was nice.

Pause.

Patient : And even now. I feel like I am excellent at things. Like sports or telling stories and - well you haven’t even given me any type of acknowledgment of the last story I said. No lower eyebrows because I used poor grammar or a small vocabulary or that I referred to “that Indian girl.” From India, not first peoples. Is that correct?

Pause.

Doctor : Are you asking me?

Patient : Yes.

Pause.

Doctor : I’m not here to tell you what is right and what is wrong.

Patient : What? That’s why I’m paying you. If I say, I’m going to swallow some pills, and off myself, you’re supposed to say, "That is wrong. Don’t do that." I’m supposed to trust you and believe you when you say No or Yes. So Yes to bubbles and the park. No to pills or jumping off roofs. Rooves?

Doctor : Roofs.

Patient : And so now I’m feeling basically like everything I thought I was good at before, I am no good at now. And you just corrected me.

Doctor : Sometimes plurals are easier than people.

Patient : So what am I supposed to do then?

There is a long pause.

Patient : Well?

Doctor : Stop worrying.