The Final Western Union Telegram

There are two doors in an apartment complex.

Man : .. You know what Brian? I don't think that she's the one. I mean, seriously, would they play that card so early in the series. It's all about how he meets this woman who one day becomes the mother of his children. Let me call you back, I've got to deliver another telegram.

The man knocks on the left door. An old man answers it.

Man : Are you Richard Mendelson?
Old Man : Yes.
Man : I've got a telegram for you. Could you sign here?

He hands out a clipboard.

Old Man : Could you read it to me? My eyes aren't what they used to be.
Man : Sure. It says, "Dear Richard. My Mary has passed away. As we get older, we begin to value everything more, and it's taken away from us. I hope all is well with you. Write soon." And that's it.
Old Man (upset) : Thank you.

The Old Man closes his door and a large cry is heard. The Man reaches into his bag a pulls out another telegram.

Man : Last one, where are you going? This is my address.

He pulls out his cell phone. The conversation is heard.

Bill : This is Bill.
Man : Bill, this is John.
Bill : Uh. Hey John, what's up?
Man : I'm looking at a telegram with my address on it. Is that correct?
Bill : Let me check today's grams.
Man : It's kind of weird. I don't know anyone who sends telegrams. Everyone I know emails or calls or writes a letter.
Bill : Yep. That's right it's sent to you. It's yours.
Man : That's so strange. Do I deliver it to myself or do I open it here.
Bill : Technically, I guess you're supposed to deliver it to yourself before you can open it.
Man : Alright. I guess I'll get to it then.
Bill : Take it easy. Good luck.
Man : Good, what?

There is a click, Bill has hung up. The Man walks to the door on the right, pulls out his keys and opens the door, all the while keeping his eyes on the telegram. He stops and opens it.

Man : "Dear John, this will be the final telegram sent from our company. We have shut down this department. Thank you for the years of service. Bill."