How Fast Can I Speak.

Breathing should happen when necessary and when specified.

Man : I am going to see how fast I can speak.

He pauses.

Man : Ok-here-I-go. I-am-speaking-as-fast-as-I-can-I-don't-know-what-I'm-going-to-talk-about-maybe-it'll-just-come-to-me. Um. It's-going-to-be-about-my-life-since-people-can-always-talk-about-themselves-right? Right.

He takes a breath.

Man : When-I-was-little-I-fell-off-my-two-wheeled-bicycle-and-skinned-my-elbow. I-thought-it-looked-like-bird-poop-and-my-mom-had-to-come-get-me. Then-when-I-was-a-little-older-in-a-different-state-I-was-riding-a-different-bicycle-too-fast-and-skinned-the-back-of-my-ankle-where-my-achilles-tendon-was.It-hurt-real-bad.

Breath.

Man : Both-times-I-was-riding-my-bike-as-fast-as-I-could-and-I-lost-control-of-what-I-was-doing. Another-time-when-I-was-trying-to-grow-up-too-fast-after-both-the-bird-poop-and-hurt-achilles-I-climbed-into-this-pond-area-where-a-three-foot-wall-surrounded-the-beach-area. When-it-was-time-to-go-my-brother-climbed-up-and-out-but-I-couldn't. Not-because-I-was-too-little-to-climb-out-it-was-only-three-feet! I-couldn't-climb-out-because-there-were-spiders-and-their-webs-and-eggs-all-over-the-wall. I-didn't-see-them-when-I-got-in-but-

Breath.

Man : -knowing-they-were-there-on-the-way-out-was-enough-to-make-me-not-want-to-climb-out. Because-I-was-scared-to-get-bitten-or-have-spider-scrawling-over-my-body. Ew. You-understand-right?So-even-later-in-my-life-after-playing-fruit-baseball-on-what-was-probably-President's-Day-. The-only-reason-I-mentioned-the-day-is-because-it-gives-an-overall-view-as-to-why-I-wasn't-in-school-on-a-week-day.You-didn't-know-it-was-a-week-day-did-you? It-was-a-week-day. I-was-driving-away-after-playing-fruit-baseball-and-it-isn't-like-I-was-trying-to-speed-but-I-just-was-and-a-cop-turned-around-after-passing-me-from-the-other-direction-to-pull-me-over. I-pulled-into-what-I-thought-would-be-a-side-street. Half-to-lose-him. Half-to-not-get-pulled-over-on-the-main-street.

Breath.

Man : Ok-it-was-to-lose-him-ninety-nine-percent. He-gave-me-a-ticket-and-I-had-to-go-to-court. It-didn't-teach-me-not-to-speed-but-to-be-better-at-speeding. A-few-years-ago-I-was-pulled-over-and-in-an-entirely-different-state-then-before. This-time-on-my-way-to-work. The-ticket-cost-two-hundred-dollars.

Panting, deepbreath, the hardest one yet.

Man : EVER-SINCE-I-WAS-BORN-I'VE-ALWAYS-TRIED-TO-EAT-EVERY-MEAL-AS-FAST-AS-I-COULD. THAT-WORKS-OK-FOR-MY-CURRENT-JOB-BECAUSE-I-HAVE-A-VERY-SHORT-LUNCH-BREAK-AND-ALSO-A-SHORT-DINNER-BREAK. THE-PROBLEM-HAS-ALWAYS-BEEN-THAT-I-WOULD-EAT-MORE-THAN-I-SHOULD-AND-GET-FAT-OR-GET-REALLY-BAD-HEARTBURN-OR-INCONSISTENT-BATHROOM-BREAKS. IT'S-LIKE-WHEN-YOU-EAT-ICECREAM-TOO-FAST-BUT-ONLY-FOR-THE-REST-OF-MY-BODY-AND-I-I-I

The man stumbles a little bit.

Man : I-NEVER-LEARNED-TO-TASTE-THE-FOOD.

He is now gasping.