Poop Phone, a true story?

Tim, dressed in a suit, sits in a Cafe. He is at a booth with a glass of water, drinking a coffee, reading a newspaper. This is something he does daily. Shannon, dressed well also walks in with a plastic bag.

Tim (surprised) : Shannon.
Shannon : Hi Tim.
Tim : How are you? Sit. Sit down.
Shannon : Thanks, but I can't.
Tim : Ok. How have you been, it's been what, 4 years?
Shannon : Yeah. (Trailing off) About 4 years and 6 days.
Tim : What are you up to these days?
Shannon : I'm working for the city. In annexation.
Tim : Great. I -.. Don't know what that means.
Shannon (laughing) : Sometimes I don't either.
Tim : Well I'm still at my same job. I'm what they call a lifer, I guess. I don't mind. No glory of annexation though.
Shannon : Oh stop. Not too many people get that anyway.
Tim : Wow. I'm amazed to see you.
Shannon : Look. I've got to tell you something. This week I was suspended with out pay from work.
Tim : Um. Ok. I'm sorry?
Shannon : Listen. I've been having some problems these past couple months. My exboyfriend, most recent since you, has been stalking me. Threatening. And I got a restraining order. I stabbed him. I went to his house and stabbed him. First, though, before the restraining order. I. I'm sorry, you want to know what the point of this story is.
Tim : Go on with whatever, I'm intrigued and kind of scared.
Shannon : It made me realize how much I missed what we had.
Tim : I think I should go.
Shannon : No, sit down. Wait. I mean, in order to get your attention, and this is why I was suspended, I went to your house and stole your phone from your car. I told people about the phone at work and touted it as something that could be ours. "Oops, I must have grabbed my fiance's phone instead of my own," I would say. They suspended me from work because I said the same sentence every day and am a horrible liar. Then came the bitterness. After living a lie for that one glorious week, I thought, "Why wouldn't he want to get back with me? What's HIS problem?" And I.. pooped on your phone.
Tim : What?
Shannon : I pooped on your phone. Then I felt bad, and since I've been following you and watching you drink your coffee every morning, I knew I could find you here. To apologize and give your phone back to you. So please. Forgive me. Here.

She puts the phone in the plastic bag down in front of him. There is a long silence between them. She sits down and flicks some water from his glass at him, flirting.

Shannon : Aw. I've missed you.