The Great Nickel Heist

A small house. Nothing special. A kitchen.

Jack : Oh my god, I've done it.
Jane : What? What did you do?
Jack : I. Oh my god.
Jane : What? What?

Jack turns on the TV.

TV Reporter : -as there are no clues to this bizarre robbery. All police know is that the truck left New Jersey and ended up in the Florida just hours from its destination in Louisiania. Police are still baffled as someone made off with hundreds of thousands of dollars in newly minted nickels. Suspected is -

Jack turns off the TV.

Jane : Hundreds of thousands of dollars in newly minted nickels?!
Jack : All ours.
Jane : But how?
Jack : I had someone drop off a van. In the evening I put each bag from the truck to the van.
Jane : My God, how many bags did you have to move?
Jack : 900.
Jane : Jack!
Jack : I had help. But what I'm saying now is, we're rich.
Jane : You stole the money!
Jack : Shh! Don't say that so loud.
Jane : How can you even think to keep it?
Jack : You know what? I've worked as a driver for so long, and without complaining about much of anything. I haven't asked for anything. I deserve more.
Jane : But we've lived comfortably with our incomes.
Jack : I deserve more. I just want to show you one bag so you can get the full scope of the amount of money - hold on.

Jack starts to leave.

Jane : Jack - we can't-
He leaves and reenters with a bag with a cent sign on it.
Jack : Just look at this. 899 more of these babies.

He tosses the bag on the table, it slides off, and falls to the floor spilling wooden nickels all over.

Jane : Wooden nickels?
There is a knock at the door.