The Tragic Death of the Holyoke Sea Monkeys

The inside of a Sea Monkey jar. 3 Sea Monkeys swim around. Offstage voices are heard.

Voice 1 : Hey, have a good Christmas and New Year.
Voice 2 : Thanks, you too. Have fun in Texas.
Voice 1 : Bye.

The sound of walking away. A door opens and closes.

Voice 2 : Well. I guess that's everything. The heat is off, the lights are off. That's it.

A light turns off, the stage is somewhat dark, and kind of aquatic. The sounds of walking away, a door opens and shuts.

Horatio : Biiiilllllllllyyyyy.
Billy : Hoooooraaaaaatiiiiooooo... Hiiiii.
Horatio : Hellllllloooooo.
Margaret : Booooooys. Leeeeeet's plllaaaaaay taaaaag.
Billy : Maaaaargaaaaareeeeet yoooooouuuuu aaaaarrre iiit.

The Sea Monkeys float around tagging each other.

Margaret : Biiiiilllllly IIII taaaaagged yoooouuu, yooooouuuu arrrre iiiit nnnnoooow.
Billy : It's Tueeeeessssdaaaaay, the peeeeeersssson thaaaaat iiiiiisnnnn't taaaaagged iiiis iiiit.
Horatio : Oooooh drrrrraaaaaat.

The Sea Monkeys continue to float and tag.

Horatio : IIIIII'mmmm tiiiiiired. Leeeeet's haaaaaave diiiiinnnnnnneeer.
Margaret : Yoooouuuu juuuuuust waaaaant toooo quiiiiit beeeecaaauuuuse wwweee'rrrre toooo faaassst fooooor yooooouuuu. Quiiiiiiitteeeerrrr.
Billy : Looooooosssssserrrrr.
Horatio : Nuuuuuh-Uuuuuuh.

Horatio stops playing and begins to eat pieces of food from the floor.

Margaret : Dooooo yooooouuu twwwwoooooo feeeeel cooooold?

Billy attaches himself to the backside of Margaret. She tries to get him off by swimming away and faster. It doesn't work.

Margaret : Biiiiiilllllly, IIII toooooold yoooouuuu, IIII dooonnn't liiiiike yyyoooouuuuu thaaaaat wwwwwaaaaaayyyyy.
Billy : Coooooome oooooon baaaaaabyyyyyyyy. IIIII'vvvveee aaaaallllllwwwwaaaaayyyys loooooovvvved yyyyyyyou, lllllleeeeet'sssss wwwwarrrrmmmm uuuup tooogeeethhherrrr.

Horatio turns brown and drops dead. Billy detaches himself from Margaret.

Billy : Hooooorrraaaaaaattttiiiiooooo? Aaaaarrrre yyyyoooooouuuu oooook?
Margaret : Wwwwwhaaaaaat hhhhaaaaappennnnned?
Billy : Mmmmmaaarrrrgaaarrreeeet, Hhhorrrrrraaaaatiiiiooooo iiiiiissss deeeeaaaad.
Margaret : Ooooooh nnnnooooo!

Billy attaches himself to Margaret again.

Margaret : Biiiiiillllllyyyyy, sssstooooop. Nnnnooooowwwwwwww iiiiiissss nooooot thhhhe tiiiiiiimmmme foooooorrrr thhhhiiiiiis. Wwwwwhhhhhyyyyyy diiiiiiiid Hhhooooraaaaatiiiiiooooo diiie?
Billy : Heeeeee wwwwaaaas eaaaatiiiiiinnnng. Mmmmaaaaaayyyybeeeeeee heeee chooooooked onnnn hiiiiis foooooood?
Margaret : IIIIII'mmmmmm soooooo coooooold. Buuuuuut heeeeee'sssss brrrrooooownnnn, thhhhaaaaaat'ssss nnnnoooooot ffffrrrrrooooooommmmm choooookiiiing..
Billy : Wwwwwhhhhaaaaaat diiiiiid yooooouuuu ssssaaaaaay?
Margaret : Aaaaboooooouuuuuut choooookiiiiiing?
Billy : Nooooo, aaaaabooooouuuut beeeeeeeeiiiiiiiinnnng coooooold.
Margaret : IIIII aaaaaaammmmm.
Billy : Yyyyoooooouuuuu aaaaarrrrre wwwwwhaaaaat?
Margaret : Cooooooollllld.
Billy : Hhooooorrrraaaaaatiiiioo diiiiiieeeed frrrrooooom coooooooollllld. Theeeeeerrrrrreeee iiiiiissssss nnnnnooooooo hhhheeeeeaaaaaat!
Margaret : Oooohh nnnoooooo!
Billy : IIII doooooonnnnn't wwwwaaaaaannnnnt diiiiiieeee aaaaa vvvvviiiiirgiiiiiinnnnn.
Margaret : Wwwwweellllllll yyyyyyoooooouuuu'rrrrrreeee goooooooiiiiiinnnnng toooooooo. Wwwweeee nnneeeeeeed tooooo mmooooovvvvve aaaaarrrroooouuuunnnnd tooooo keeeeeeep wwwwwaaaarmmmmm!

They begin moving around spastically and quickly. Shortly, Billy turns brown and dies.

Margaret : Biiiiiillllllllllyyyyy nnnnnooooooooo!

Margaret turns brown and dies.