Head & Ass

There are two men. One has the bottom half of a cow costume on, the other has the top.

Ass : What a day.
Head : I don't know if I can keep going.
Ass : It was unseasonably hot.
Head : It was.
Ass : And that kid kept throwing up.
Head : The mother didn't even offer to pay for the dry cleaning.
Ass : It's a different era than when we started this gig, Head.
Head : I know. It's gotten me thinking.
Ass : We're almost relics.
Head : We are relics. We're not just old. We're outdated. Kids want cartoon characters, or at least, their ripoffs for their birthday parties. Not farm animals that walk on four legs.
Ass : We're still relevant, Head. It's a matter of working harder, maybe bringing in some new moves to our rep.
Head : No. It's our costume.
Ass : I've told you. I'm not changing the costume.
Head : Well, I've been made an offer.
Ass : With who?
Head : Who do you think?
Ass : And you're considering it? I can't believe you. They are the reason we're practically out of business.
Head : They're union. I know they can provide for me.
Ass : We've been together since we were 17. We can still make money.
Head : I don't want to do this until I die. I want to relax. In this new job, I can sit at a desk and schedule appearances. I don't have to make them. Do you remember the height limit for this costume?
Ass : 5'6".
Head : And we're taller than that. There's a reason for the limit. The tear is going to catch up with us, Ass. I'd rather be comfortable than stuck in this costume when it hits me.
Ass : 40 years and you're giving up. You're going union.
Head : I've. I've got to go.
Ass takes Head's cow head and sits as Head leaves.