i tell you what i'm gonna do/nothing is as important as your relationship with your parents

a young girl runs into a living room. it's a classic fifties style living room with an old tv and a rocking chair with a father smoking a pipe and reading a paper. she is crying.

girl : father, father! sally next door told me that god doesn't exist and then that anyone who believes it was a [whispered] jewish kike!

father : well, margaret, i can tell you with one hundred percent assurance that her statement isn't entirely false. jews do believe in god. sure, it may be a more inferior, weaker god without the powers a christian god has, but they do believe in a god nonetheless. perhaps sally was just ed-

girl : but then she pushed me.

father : physical violence against my only girl?

girl : yes!

father : well that i can't stand for [he folds his paper and stands up]. i'll tell you what i'm going to do, sweetheart.

girl : what?

father : i'm going to walk right over there, and take her little pretty hair and rip it out of head like a doll's. then while she's crying, i'll burn in a small room with her in it, so then she'll have the painful bloody scalp and the smell of her own hair burning to boot. then i'll take my finger and -

girl : daddy?!

father : hold on sweetie, daddy's going to take care of this girl - so i will take my finger - this one [he holds up his ring finger] - and i'll jam out her right eye with it. i'll scoop out her eyeball and then cover it in hamburger like one of mom's delicious meatballs and make her eat a whole bowl of spaghetti and meatballs - but not that day, when she least expects and chomp! a squishy eyeball. it's not canibalism if you eat your own body parts - but you know what that's called?

the girl is now on her knees, pale, staring up in horror at her father.

father : family. hopefully she'll realize that in this world, the one in which we live - that you don't hassle a person's family member. it's just not right. and the other eye -

girl : daddy, what about the other eye?

father : i'm getting there, be patient. the other eye, i'll leave alone. so she can watch me tell her parents what she's done - and as i walk toward her parents, i'll kick her in the face. are you familiar with the phrase "teeth to the curb," margaret? nevermind.

girl : daddy, why?

father : you see margaret, in today's world, we're all little piglets at a mother pigs teat. if you don't take something when it's available, someone else will, so that's why i'm teaching you this lesson. i'm going to do all those things to sally next door before someone else does it to her first.

girl : daddy, no!

father : no? you don't want me to get back at sally for what she's done to you?

girl [shivering]: no. i don't.

father : well, alright then. that's all you had to say. you didn't want me to fix the problem, just listen to what it was. so go ahead, honey, what's the problem.

girl : n-nothing daddy.

father : well alright then, just remember take it while you can, because someone else will if you don't - and if someone else takes it before you find a way to poison or kill them so then you can have it instead. yeah?

girl : o-ok.

father : i want a tuna melt.
the end.