a great metal protector/news conference about the war

a podium, a man in a suit and an american flag lapel pin walks out. something his coat pocket bulges and weighs it down a bit.

man : hel-hello, ladies and gentleman. thank you for coming. today, i'm here to talk about our newest technology for fighting our enemies, who are currently located in the middle east, but might possible spread to the far east, or some choice european countries and in many years, will go south to africa, even though we've been trying to forget about that place - it's huge.

he clears his throat.

man : excuse me.

he clears his throat again. he drinks an entire glass of water.

man : what i have on my person, is the future. the future of defensive and offensive warfare. for several years, private funders have been experimenting with various forms of metal to figure out the most indestructible, and they tell me it's what i've got here in my pocket.

he pulls out a cube of metal.

man : this is new metal. that's not it's name, and you'll probably have the name of this metal in a pack under your seat - yeah - right behind the autographed picture - you're welcome. yeah, that's the one just one sheet with really big letters on it -

he drops the cube of metal on the floor, it makes a loud bang.

man : see what i did there? i surprised you. i distracted you by making you look in those envelopes and with pictures of myself and then -

he picks up the metal cube and drops it again.

man : yeah! and that's what i'm talking about! make big cubes with soldiers inside and drop them from airplanes onto our enemies. completely by surprise. the airplanes will have to be what, 300 hundred feet in the air? total secrecy. and even better, the metal is so strong and like they'll be impossible to penetrate or break into because there's no entrance, casualties of war will decrease a lot. i expect there won't be any dead soldiers after we institute this.

he picks up the cube and looks at it.


man : let me show you again. pretend my hand and wrist is the airplane holding the big metal cube and the metal cube is a scale version ofthe actual cube which will hold about 8 or 11 soldiers and from at least three hun- 500 fe-

he accidentally drops the cube.

man : oh. jeez. that wasn't supposed to happen. but hey! hey! if that were to happen, which it won't the cube is designed like an egg drop - that's what inspired this, an egg drop from my kid's science class. i was thinking on the bottom, we might increase troop morale by letting them paint the bottom whatever they want, like a US flag, or a bull's eye. wouldn't that be fun? knowing you were the one who made the last thing the enemy saw. yeah.

he pause.

man : it's called the giant metal cube.